greatest british wits

einhverra hluta vegna birtu allir fréttamiðlar eftirminnilegar tilvitnanir eftir þá sem voru í efstu sætunum - ég geri nú ráð fyrir því að fleira hafi verið tínt til þegar hnyttni manna var mæld.

skv. könnuninni er röðun efstu manna svona -Britain's top ten wits (ég fór á stúfana og fann fleiri og betri tilvitnanir en gefnar voru í greininni):

1 Oscar Wilde: "Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
"I am not young enough to know everything."
"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes."

2 Spike Milligan: "A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
eftirskrifin á legsteininum hans: "I told you I was ill."

3 Stephen Fry: "I think animal testing is cruel. They get nervous and get all the answers wrong."
"An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them."

4 Jeremy Clarkson: "Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary… That's what gets you,"

5 Sir Winston Churchill: (Accused of being drunk by the MP Bessie Braddock) "Madam, you are ugly. And I shall be sober in the morning."
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."
"I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

6 Paul Merton: "My school days were the happiest of my life: which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty five years."
"You can always tell a man by the way he drinks his tea. A man who drinks with the handle facing towards him is necessarily a Liberal. A man who drinks without a cup is obviously mad!"

7 Noel Coward: "Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar. Never spread it about like marmalade."
"I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me."

8 William Shakespeare: "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery."
"Women speak two languages - one of which is verbal. "

9 Brian Clough (Nott. Forr. stjóri): "Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive. "
"Beckham? His wife can't sing and his barber can't cut hair.'"

10 Liam Gallagher: "She can't even chew gum and walk in a straight line, let alone write a book." (on Victoria Beckham)
"I was walking along and this chair came flying past me, and another,and another, and I thought, man, is this gonna be a good night."

efsti kvenmaðurinn: Járnfrúin, í 12. sæti: "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."
"It may be the cock that crows, but it is the hen that lays the eggs."
"As God once said, and I think rightly..."
"If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim."


hún var á milli Jonathan Ross og Boris Johnson (hverjir?)

í könnuninni kom víst fram að 57% þátttakenda töldu karlmenn betri í því að koma með eins-línu brandara, á meðan kvenmenn voru taldir betri í kaldhæðni.

uppáhaldssetningin mín er alltaf eftir George Best: "I spent all my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered."
en hann mun einnig hafa sagt: "I once gave up smoking and drinking, it was the worst 20 minutes of my life."